Thursday, January 29, 2009

arranged marriages.....hmmmm



In case the title hadn't given it away i thought id take a moment to ponder and ramble on a little tradition of ours......arranged marriages.



(i thought..id...play my tiny violin...just to add a little mood music)

its funny that....in our "modern" society.....where we boast about our advances in technology...and cultural understanding...that the country with supposedly some of the most intelligent people on the planet....er.....hmm....or well......maybe....just the most people on the planet......we've reduced the romance.......that poets have spent their whole lives contemplating to .........the size of someones bank account....and face value.

["i think that i shall never see
a bank account as lovely as thee
with your numbers and your many zeros
you truly are....my hero

i have searched far and wide
for someone with joint checking to abide
my parents tell me....were meant to be
i guess its destiny."]

(a little something of my own making)

but when i think about it....for a country who's people used to choose their professions like... inee minee minenee mo...your an engineer,doctor or accountant

........it wouldn really be hard to understand why another one of life's most imp decisions
would obviously require the exact same skill and tact...

but marriage...today....seems more like your average trip to the supermarket..i mean...think about it.....when you buy a product...you check out the date of manufacture,..whos the manufacturer?is it a brand name?does it have adequate after sale service?...are there any special offers?...is the product defective?does it look good?

.....(talk about the other extreme of the idealized version huh :D).....its funny how....seemingly deeper more important qualities are left to chance...id like to think those would seem more important...

questions like

....what car does he drive?....where would he live?....how much does he earn?....whats his skin color?....are they a well to do family?is his right toe bigger than his left one?

....for some twisted reason seem more important than..

..is he well mannered?...does he respect women?.....would he genuinely care for her?....does he like wearing women s clothing?is his idea of fun farting in public?...is the woman outgoing?is she caring?does she have a sense of humor?does she seem stuck up?does she grow weed in her backyard?....

then again...im sure.....that the family only wants whats best for the girl or guy involved...er...um...superficially...atleast....you know what i really think....i think.....the family only really wants whats best for the family....the opinions of the people involved hardly ever matter much....its more like a game of marital monopoly really...only the number of players rolling the dice are more than there should be.....and theres also a pretty good chance that none of them are either the bride or the groom.

.....the only real question....would be asked.....after the twenty minute meeting between the two to be wed....and the question being...

".do you feel repulsed by them?"
(i kid you not....that was the question my aunt asked my cousin sister just before she was made to choose the guy she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with).

(as if you could be repulsed by a person, whos supposed to be on his\her best behavior..having not known them before....in less time than it takes to make a decent cup of coffee..)

....if your not completely repulsed by them....you could indeed spend the rest of your life with them...lol(..how completely bizarre is that really?...i wouldn even buy a shirt unless i actually liked it....leave alone contemplate whether.... i wasn't completely feeling repulsed by it...

"i dont completely hate it.....so itll do....i guess"

i heard marriage was hard....and now i know why....you spend the first half tolerating the person.....and the rest contemplating the phrase...till death do us part.

As unfortunate as the concept of an arranged marriage seems to me rite now......and im sure to a great many people out there...a real pain in the arse....

.....In the Indian context it is in fact "the holy grail".....and is seen as the reward for all those unfortunate men...who've spent most of their adult lives behind their books.....worrying about money....a kind of modern day light at the end of a very very long tunnel....a sort of compensation that they expect from their parents.....in return for everything they were expected to do and put through....as responsible adults\children......while everyone else was living out their younger years.

"ah....your 30 now...my baby is all grown up.....now its time to pass on the torch....to another capable independent woman...who follows instructions and listens to every word i say..."

(sometimes im not sure....whether any of us are really ever....fully allowed to grow up)

as much as i hate the concept of an arranged marriage for.... damaging peoples understanding of the depth and range of emotions involved in such a commitment...beyond its financial implications....and.....the sheer number of people who are suffering as a result of it......ill have to admit.... it is....in our country an unavoidable unchangeable equalizer..(i say equalizer....cause all other factors would eventually melt down to financial security)....and is probably and unfortunately gonna be there for a while....especially in our country...not because its the right way of doing it....but because it is easier.....and relies on factors that are logically and quantifiably measurable.....and easier to control.....than of those that aren't...(and also i find its because tradition dictates so....and living outside tradition would affect the reputation of the family..which is a very important factor in the arranged process)....but the factors that are often outside your control....are also often the most important....and could decide the course of the marriage for better or worse...i think its important to remember that.


In the end....i guess it all depends on whether your a conformist..willing to listen and do everything being told to you...in the hopes that maybe other people know better than you do.....or willing to take a chance.....question tradition...or maybe just question in general...from your own point of view....your own thoughts...and preferences....rather than someone Else's...

i say....keep questioning....you might just learn something new.

- Rahul Thomas

I don’t feel pain


The loss of a loved one is a scary thing
Yet all I want to do is laugh and sing
And although this might seem a little more than plain
I can assure you I am perfectly sane

The passing of the soul into the realm of the unknown,
Is something beautiful and should be shown
for i believe it is something romantic
And quite far from something tragic.

But the more I think about it
the more I find
That loss is indeed a teacher
However unkind.

Cause If loss wasn’t such an ugly affair
people wouldn’t really learn to care
They wouldn’t cherish the little things
And all the joys life with it brings

They wouldn’t be content with lives they lead
And may never really understand what it is they need.
So the way I see it we have much to gain
And that is why
I don’t feel pain...


- By Rahul Thomas.

Cycles of violence

The media portrays it as the only way
The only way to be heard today
Though the more its used
The more its abused

We generate our own cycles of hate
In hopes that it would change the present state
In hopes that it would bring about a form of order
When we terrorize each other’s borders.

If we could see that the hippies were right
If we could learn that we need not fight
that Everyone had the right to be heard
But then again I speak of a perfect world

I cannot stop what has begun
I cannot for I am but one
but If i could change the world.. I would
But we can…and I think we should

Its time to know we can change fate
Its time to know…before its too late
Way beyond the lost peace of silence
We’ve created our own cycles of violence.

-by Rahul Thomas

You could.but…i don’t want you to


The world is harsh…. the world is cruel
But to live carefully, shouldn’t be the thumb of rule
Life has to be experienced, as it should be
Without wondering what it could be

I know its just that you cared
But you cannot always live scared
You cannot doubt and live in fear
Whenever things seem a little unclear

You cannot protect me all the time
Its what makes my experience mine
i can take care of myself
and im not a book you can keep on your shelf

You cannot always hold my hand when i'm afraid
You cannot help save me from the mistakes i've made
You can’t protect me from the harsh world outside
You could…. but I don’t want to run and hide

I know you worry all the while
and All I want is to see you smile
but you have to learn to let me go
its just something I think you should know

i hope youll try and understand
that its ok for me to leave your hand
its ok for me to do this alone
ill always know my way back home

but this is something i have to do
and yes i did take my running shoes
ill always love you ma
you've helped me along this far

please dont run after me
ill be back some day youll see
you cant always protect me from the world so blue
you could...but i dont want you too

- Rahul Thomas

Will you?

Ever had moment that changes your perspective
More than a dream, a change in directive
Ive been thinking about the world so long
How things were a mess and going all wrong

About how life and people…would never change
it Seems so certain…and yet so strange
our lives can be both weapons and instruments of peace
capable of great good and a violence that will never cease.

but among the two we choose the latter
to prove our point in this world of matter
our humanity as it is, was forged in blood
the lines that divide us, those drawn in mud

the reason we cant revert to what made us good
are the same reasons, we all think we should
we don’t always do, whatever we say
maybe its just too hard…but in either way

its just a matter of time till world stumbles
till life as we know it begins to crumble
and there’s nothing we can do but wait and hope
that we would survive, that we would learn to cope.

They say that we evolve when were at the brink
when were at the end and there’s no time to think
I think that time is close a hand
When we all finally learn to understand

when we see we can be more than ourselves
way beyond that of heaven and hell
a leap in consciousness is what I mean
something more than we’ve ever been

this change will come....but at a price
and it wont be pleasant, no.. it wont be nice
for the night is darkest before the dawn
and a storms its worst before its gone.

The time is coming and I bid thee well
And I hope you see past this morbid tell
I hope you learn to look for more
And venture beyond all known shores…

For I might not be here when the world turns a new
But then again…will you?….

-By Rahul Thomas

Not just yet






How do i leave a memory behind?

that eternal torment that plagues my mind

I want to forget but it will not let me be

im Chained by her memory, I cannot be free.


for Her perfume still lingers, oh…I remember it well

with Her smile so lovely… it cast a spell

I still feel her touch upon my skin

and I remember those eyes as they pierced within.


I want to forget…or at least…I think I should

I want to forget…but I don’t think I could

Its this pain, this loss so….divine

It seems unfair….And yet its mine.


I know what I’ve lost…and it was worthwhile

And ill never forget how I made her smile

Her memory serves as a reminder of what love means

A feeling far deeper than what it seems.


Her memory and mine

Will forever intertwine…

And I could forget

But….not just yet.


by Rahul Thomas

Wednesday, January 28, 2009


If you could live forever... would you really want to?

i stood there on the edge of my time
as it all slowed down in the back of my mind
and I saw my life for what it was
an empty shell, a lost cause

but my time was up and I could not change a thing
there would be no more laughter, and no one would sing
I would never feel the warm summer breeze
Nor smell the flowers as they whispered through the trees

I wished for more…but this was all I had
And it seemed so final, so iron clad
I never thought I was ever going to die
I always had more time…i didnt know why.

But if I had my wish and I lived forever
Would it really be now or never?
Would these moment mean as much
Would I really miss, all as such?

Id be doomed to watch the ones I love
As they disappeared to the world above
Id see them in their last moments of life
And carry with me all their moments of strife

Id cherish their moments more than mine
And id tire of people in the course of time
Id hate, that they were all so vain
When id give anything, to feel their pain.

When you feel nothing you cease to exist
Your always in the background…like vapor or mist
you search for the one thing you can never find
and walk these halls as a shadow in time

for what you long for in this unearthly quest
is the only just reward ,an eternity of rest
you wish to rest among the dead
and live out pleasant memories all the words you said.

To be reunited with all those you’ve lost
The ones whose memories were worth the cost
Cause The smells, the sounds all seem clearer
And all feelings as death draws nearer.

and to me they seemed more important than the bags gold
The infinite riches from the things ive sold
And in that moment I finally had…peace
As my life left my body
and I dropped to my knees.

I could have lived forever…this is true
But If you could.....would you really want to?

- by Rahul Thomas

A BRAND NEW VIEW

I awoke in silence; there were leaves on the ground
It was wet cold and cloudy…and there was no one around
I felt the wind as it blew across my face
It felt so strange, so out of place

I had been here before, but it was never like this
What could have happened here, what did I miss?
the swing by the house was broken and old
and as I looked around, my blood ran cold

The flowers were gone and the grass was dust
And all the cars, reduced to rust
The trees were bare and the houses seemed hollow
It all seemed a little hard to swallow

So I walked around the town for a little while
Searching for a face, a friendly smile
But nobody came, no one heard my calls
The world seemed to big, and I seemed so small.

Where was everyone? Where did they go?
A war, a disaster? I just had to know
and what if I, was the last person here….
the prospect of being alone, filled me with fear.

I got my answer as I fell to the ground
In pain and hatred for the lack of sound
It was in a crushed in a heap under all the trash
And then it came to me a vision ,a flash.


The screams of people as they echoed through the night
The the scores of people who did nothing but fight,
Fighting to prove what they said was right
for they knew the truth, they were the light.

but World had not listened to their pointless demands
Nature it seemed, had other plans.
for the world was sick and not by choice
the world was dying, yet and it had no voice

we lost our world on that fatefull day
and as the skies turned black, we began to pray
and we asked the world for another chance
as we promised to repent our ways, for another glance

but it was too late and the world was tired
and could not listen to these, so….inspired
the world perished on that faithful day
what happened after, it did not say.

as I put down paper, i silently wept
if we had changed our ways our promises kept
as these thoughts drew heavy on my mind
a bright light appeared, and I was blind…

I awoke again….to the sound of birds
The smell of flowers….were beyond my words
and as I got of my bed and wore my shoes
i stared out my window, with a brand new view.

- by Rahul Thomas

Tuesday, January 27, 2009



A mans nightmare

-by Rahul Thomas


A beautiful woman stood across the street
A beautiful woman I just had to meet
but then I thought and began to wonder
of all the things that could end in blunder

but this woman seemed perfect with her long black hair
it was all I could do , I just had to stare
but as I stood there in the awe of her beauty
she turned and stared right back at me.

(what should I do…she saw me stare
is she looking at my hair?
What do I do…do I smile and wave
Shell think your crazy…you better behave

And what should I do with my hands?
I don’t know I don’t have a plan
Act real cool…and look real smart
And for heaven sakes …don’t you fart)

Shes just a woman its plain to see
And what woman wouldn want me
So with a smile on my face and purpose in my stride
I took a step forward I had nothing to hide

It all sounded good in my head
but my heart was telling me id end up dead
So I crossed the street without a flaw
Then tripped on the pavement
And hurt my jaw

(holy crap…you think she saw
No but I think you broke the law
Get up real slow …and think real fast
And it better be good, this might be your last)

So with the little courage that I had
I got up...feeling surprisingly glad
She was smiling…and that was good
This might work out ...it probably would)

(Say something funny, say something smart
Conversation…if any…they say… is a lost art
say Something, really anything….would be good
Say something now….i really think you should)

As I introduced my self, she seemed like fun
Could I have really met the one
Its too early to say at this present state
We haven even been on a date.

(ask her out …she seems like fun
Ask her now… before she’s done
She’s walking away …don’t just stare
come on man grow a pair)

I walked up to her and asked her out
She said she was flattered... but I had my doubts
She looked at me..in...the most delightful way…
then turned away as she began to say...

I’m really sorry….but the truth is….im gay.