Mother and Child

(this one started out as a favor for an aunt and her magazine....but was a lot harder than i thought it would be...and gave me a pretty interesting and challenging view point to deal with......this was the result....)

I heard stories of what this would be like
All the dirty diapers, all the sleepless nights
I heard about the pain, you were going to put me through
And how I’d always be fascinated…by your tiny shoes…

I heard about all the things.. I’d have to compromise
And listened to all the things that would… make me wise….
I heard about how….you were going to make me cry
And about …all the times… I’d probably wonder…. WHY?!!!

But all those things I thought i feared
None were more terrifying than when you appeared
 But all those things id heard before you were born..
 Melted away…an early Sunday morn…

And I stared in wonder, I stared in awe
At the cute little brown ball…I saw
All that fuss over something so small
Something that couldn’t walk something that couldn’t crawl

With your little hands, and your little feet
That big gorgeous smile with no little teeth
Those big brown eyes….with cheeks so red…
Those tiny little hairs on that tiny little head

In that moment I knew what it was all about
Yes indeed….i had no doubt
I knew I’d love you the rest of my life
Through moments of joy…and moments of strife

As I held you close in my arms
I knew I’d never let you come to harm
And Right then I knew it was worth my while
Right there...in that moment…..  mother and child

-Rahul Thomas



 

Funny the way it is...when you think about it...

Every time you think you know the ans....just when you think you've got it all figured out.....no matter what you've read....about anyone...or anything.....over the thousands of years we've been on this little blue planet.....life will continue to surprise you....in no small way....and in ways yet to be written about.....

a couple months ago....i thought i knew what i wanted....what was right....and what i thought i knew was wrong....i had made my assumptions about the people in my life......about those id chosen to stand beside me....those ive had the privilege of knowing......and about the things i expect outta my life....but the word expect has got to be the most ill thought of word when your thinking about the rest of your life.....

Its funny how we plan our lives .....in 5 years ...we will have this....we will be doin that......and were so certain of it.....and we assume that when were done.....with our planned out journeys to the grave......wed know the ans.....cause thats how long we think....it takes to really grow up.....unfortunately....it aint that simple.....its the unexpected that define who we are.....makes us reach deep down...and revamp everything we thought we knew....

Now im not saying don't plan.....don't dream....don't want....that's just nuts...we all want everything life has to offer.....i know i do......all im saying is....if you think the unexpected stuff wasnt imp...that it was just there to make your life harder....or more complicated....your really missing out.....there's an old saying.....

"No expectations ;No disappointments."

I never really understood what that meant.....i always thought it was more like an escapist kinda thing....if you never expect anything of your life.....you'd be happy with whatever you got.....

Cause when you think about it.....it just doesnt make sense.....if you dont know where you wanna go in life....how you gonna move forward.....you cant just wait for everything to happen to you...but...

I think i finally get it now....and ive been goin about it all wrong......the thing is if you live your life within that framework of what you expect......you limiting what life has to offer.....and what you can get outta it....you gotta want it all......and mean it all.......equally......not just the good stuff.....everything......you gotta accept for what it is.....not hide it......dont bury it....feel it....and ... know.....that....that moment.....in no small way....contributes....to that sweet rich tapestry of emotional carnage.....which your gonna remember.....the scars you'd have healed from...the joys youve shared....and everything in between...that makes that amazing rainbow of 14 shades of grey.....cause that's what real living is....there are no expectations....when you live in the unexpected...when your willing to risk it all....everyday...and...just live in the mystery....its not about the end....its about the journey.

I think its that understanding that helps you live with the choices you've made.....and not be disappointed with them as your moving forward...my recent past...has showed me more about life......than everything ive done up unto this point....and it all started with something amazingly unexpected.

What i do know....is.....come what may......im not gonna end where i started from.....but i also cant think of a better feeling......than not knowing how things are gonna turn out...or whats gonna come my way.

its funny the way it is.....when you think about it....