Funny the way it is...when you think about it...

Every time you think you know the ans....just when you think you've got it all figured out.....no matter what you've read....about anyone...or anything.....over the thousands of years we've been on this little blue planet.....life will continue to surprise you....in no small way....and in ways yet to be written about.....

a couple months ago....i thought i knew what i wanted....what was right....and what i thought i knew was wrong....i had made my assumptions about the people in my life......about those id chosen to stand beside me....those ive had the privilege of knowing......and about the things i expect outta my life....but the word expect has got to be the most ill thought of word when your thinking about the rest of your life.....

Its funny how we plan our lives .....in 5 years ...we will have this....we will be doin that......and were so certain of it.....and we assume that when were done.....with our planned out journeys to the grave......wed know the ans.....cause thats how long we think....it takes to really grow up.....unfortunately....it aint that simple.....its the unexpected that define who we are.....makes us reach deep down...and revamp everything we thought we knew....

Now im not saying don't plan.....don't dream....don't want....that's just nuts...we all want everything life has to offer.....i know i do......all im saying is....if you think the unexpected stuff wasnt imp...that it was just there to make your life harder....or more complicated....your really missing out.....there's an old saying.....

"No expectations ;No disappointments."

I never really understood what that meant.....i always thought it was more like an escapist kinda thing....if you never expect anything of your life.....you'd be happy with whatever you got.....

Cause when you think about it.....it just doesnt make sense.....if you dont know where you wanna go in life....how you gonna move forward.....you cant just wait for everything to happen to you...but...

I think i finally get it now....and ive been goin about it all wrong......the thing is if you live your life within that framework of what you expect......you limiting what life has to offer.....and what you can get outta it....you gotta want it all......and mean it all.......equally......not just the good stuff.....everything......you gotta accept for what it is.....not hide it......dont bury it....feel it....and ... know.....that....that moment.....in no small way....contributes....to that sweet rich tapestry of emotional carnage.....which your gonna remember.....the scars you'd have healed from...the joys youve shared....and everything in between...that makes that amazing rainbow of 14 shades of grey.....cause that's what real living is....there are no expectations....when you live in the unexpected...when your willing to risk it all....everyday...and...just live in the mystery....its not about the end....its about the journey.

I think its that understanding that helps you live with the choices you've made.....and not be disappointed with them as your moving forward...my recent past...has showed me more about life......than everything ive done up unto this point....and it all started with something amazingly unexpected.

What i do know....is.....come what may......im not gonna end where i started from.....but i also cant think of a better feeling......than not knowing how things are gonna turn out...or whats gonna come my way.

its funny the way it is.....when you think about it....